Hey guys! I hope you are all having an amazing week! Today’s post is about all about bodies! I published this post back on my old blog in 2017 on blogger but because I don’t use that one anymore, I thought I would repost it onto here. It is a topic so close to my heart. Not only is it a repost, I have edited it and added more thoughts into it. It a topic close to my heart and I wanted to share some more thoughts on it.
Back in 2017, there was a trend called #TheySaid going around on and I decided to take part. Little did I know that I’d be featured in news articles and that the movement would go viral. I took part in the trend and received such beautiful words. Being big all my life has mostly been a burden and because of the constant bullying from about everyone I knew, I felt like an outcast, hating my own body.
In today’s society, being anything other than slim is considered shameful and wrong but why does this happen and what can we do to stop it? I think a major part of this is that agencies employ models for fashion shows and magazines and as we grow up, we begin to see that being “thin”, “pretty” and “flawless” is the norm and what is considered “right” in society. I think now that so much social media is used in this day and age, we see something online and think “okay so I need to be that size to get certain things”. I remember when I first watched the Kardashians, I thought to myself “Jesus, if I just lose all that weight then I will get a boyfriend, friends and be prettier”. Little did I know that, in just a few short months, I would see the beauty within myself.
I am not really sure how long the process was but I am sure it took a couple of years to actually see myself in a bright light rather than darkness. I saw that I was actually not an ugly person and yes, I may not be thin but that is who I am and who I will always be, even if I lose the weight or not. I know now that my body doesn’t define who I am, society doesn’t and neither do words on paper or on a screen. In the words of Nicki Minaj:
‘I am not a word, I am not a line
I am not a girl that can ever be defined’
(Jesus I was corny) No one and no word will define me and they shouldn’t define you. You are yourself and whether you love yourself or are learning to love yourself, don’t listen to those who put you down because they are just trying to get a reaction to get some popularity within their tiny brain.
One thing I’ve found out about trolls over the time I have been on social media is that they only want to fill their own insecurities. They put someone down because they know they feel bad about themselves and this is the only way they can do it. For someone who has been bullied their whole life, trolls could have affected my life in many different ways. I could have listened to them, I could have gone with my depression and probably done something bad. It’s the same with bullying in person, they can put someone down but that person is so strong to put up with it. I wish back then, I was as strong as I am now because I could own how I looked.
Me in 2014/15 and me now
There was one time I remember which has stuck with me forever. I had just lost my virginity and I told my three best friends at school because I trusted them and as I was bullied by a certain guy in my year, I did not want him to know about it. At the same time, I was being bullied online by a group of people. He found out about me losing my virginity, started to makes jokes around the whole of sixth form about it and when I was near, would snigger and make a joke. I took to the support group online that I was in. Little did I know that one of the group of people who was bullying me, was in the support group. They all found out and hit me with all these snide remarks.
That is the day I started to love myself. Yes, it was a weird day to start loving myself but it meant to much. I had been still struggling badly with my depression at this point so I vowed to help myself and the first step was loving myself. It’s taken around a year and a bit but I know now I am pretty and no matter how other people see me, only my opinion matters.
I’m now 21 and I love myself more than ever. Although, I look at my body sometimes and dislike what I see, I don’t use the term fat anymore. I’m plus sized and proud. Now that I work in a plus size clothing store, it has helped me to gain more confidence within myself and love myself more. It’s weird but I wouldn’t change the journey that lead me to where I am today.
Not only have I accepted myself, I have Jack and all my friends who accept me for who I am and I couldn’t be happier with the support system I have.
Remember that you are who you are and you should never be ashamed of that. You are special and you should celebrate that!
I hope reading this has helped you. Let me know in the comments what’s the thing you like about yourself most!