Happy New Year! I can’t believe it is 2018 already! It seems like 2017 went in a blur for me and I can’t wait to get stuck into this year!
So I have seen this on my Twitter and I thought I would join in and tell you guys what the last year has taught me and to pass on some advice to you as well!
It’s okay to be upset
I know what you must be thinking; “of course it’s okay to be upset. That’s life” but I mean in terms of mental health. Some days I don’t wanna even get out of bed, I just grab my laptop and watch Netflix or I sleep the whole day. It’s okay to do that sometimes if you’re having a bad mental health. It’s okay to cry. It’s a pet peeve of mine when people say “don’t cry, it’s okay” when there are tears streaming down my face because I’m crying at that point because I don’t feel great mentally.
I try to take a day out of doing my normal routine (wake up, take my tablet, eat and then get on my laptop to work) because then I can have a rest day to myself to make sure I don’t work myself too hard and have a mental breakdown. I do have unexpected days where I just can’t handle anything and those are good and bad. They can show you that you are just normal and that you have done so much that you are just tired out. I know it helps me see how I can be better to myself.
So yes it’s okay to be upset, it’s okay to cry because we’re human. No one is perfect and we all have different mental states. I would advise even for just an hour taking some time to yourself if you feel under the weather to have a bath, play a game, read or do something that helps you relax and get back to a calm state.
Speaking out is hard but it helps
When #MeToo trended, I was not scared of speaking out about my experience of being groomed, I just didn’t want anyone to know because I felt it was my fault. There were times where I wanted to speak out and I did tell people but knowing that all of these people have spoken about sexual assault and things relating to it, I felt empowered and I knew I should tell people but it was hard.
It helped become more comfortable with the nag in my brain which was the situation that happened. I cannot fathom how strong all of these people are for speaking out against people who have a higher job than them. It is so amazing that people have come forward to shine a red light on these perpetrators so they get what they deserve. To those who have spoken out, you are so strong and beautiful and no one can take away who you are. We will prosecute those who have done these horrible things.
Patience is key
I was in a bad place before I met Jack and I didn’t know at the time that I would fall in love with him. I was dating someone at the end of 2016 and I panicked because I would be at Uni and he would be at home. I then just became a worse version of myself because I hated myself for breaking up with him.
It was messy when I got back to Uni, I nearly got back with my ex but then he got a girlfriend so I just decided to stay single until I could find someone who actually treated me right for once. I met Jack on the 10th April in Mosh. He was actually meant to come to my birthday party on the 17th, a week later so I would have met him either way which is crazy to think of.
I didn’t know what would happen but when I met him, he asked me for a light and that’s how we got talking. I didn’t know who he was, I just knew he was coursemate’s best friend and flat-mate. I couldn’t believe that this handsome guy was interested in me who was on the verge of being an alcoholic and was a mess mentally. I took a chance and 9 months later, I couldn’t be happier that I went on a date with the guy who asked me for a light in a club. He didn’t even smoke which makes me smile even more.
I learned that I made the right choices and I waited to find someone who cared for me as much as I cared for them. Patience was a key thing, I tried to talk to guys but I gave up and stopped trying to find someone because it clearly wasn’t working.
It’s okay to get help
The first ever time I went to counselling was when I was around 13-14 and I hated it. I think because I didn’t get at 13 why you sat in a room and talked about how you felt and maybe the experience was bad has given me a bad feeling about counselling. I can’t talk about my feelings most of the time because I have bottled them up all my life.
I finally was given medication for my mental health and I agreed to go to Psychological Wellbeing and Counselling because I think they could help with the problems I have. It’s okay to get help if you need it. No one should judge you because you want help as you’re struggling.
My fear of pain is not really a fear
September last year is when I got my first two tattoo’s and let me tell you, I was very very nervous. I hate needles and I hate pain. Great combination for a tattoo right? I didn’t know what the sensation was but Jack told me it wouldn’t hurt that much and as it turns out, it didn’t. I was just scared of the unknown pain. I mean it hurt a little and there were sensitive parts but I am so glad I got them.
I’m hopefully getting another one in a few weeks and I couldn’t be more excited. Not about the pain but just the experience and having something inked onto me. It sounds weird when I put it like that but I mean it in a sentimental way.
I think because I had the fear and anxiety there in my brain, I was expecting it to hurt like when I broke my thumb (I trapped it in a car door when I was younger) but I was so relieved it didn’t hurt much!
I hope that 2017 has taught you some things as well that help you this year! Happy New Year!
Till Next Time